The Families in Global Transition (FIGT) 2014 conference a few weeks ago was an opportunity to attend informative and thought provoking sessions on many aspects of international living. Not only that, the FIGT conference was also a great place to meet all kinds of interesting people from a variety of backgrounds and experiences. Everyone had a story – and it was never clear just by looking at someone what that story would be. People had lived in multiple places, spoke numerous languages, and had a variety of fascinating experiences as they lived, worked and studied overseas.
Many people at the conference identified with being global nomads and third culture kids (TCKs), and FIGT conferences are a great way to meet like minded people who have completely different backgrounds from each other. In one evening at the conference, I had conversations with someone who has a parent from Greece and who grew up in Kuwait, another person whose parents are American and grew up in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and the US, a person whose parents are Korean and grew up in Brazil, Libya and Korea, still another with American parents who grew up in Kenya and China, and the list goes on.
As I mentioned in a recent post, Barbara Schaetti, who was a part of FIGT from its beginnings in the late 1990’s, discusses the idea of ‘liminality’ and describes how this relates to international families in transition: “When a person is in liminal space, he or she is on the threshold, no longer part of the past and not yet part of the new beginning. For many global nomads and their families, in particular for multi-movers, the experience of liminal space becomes the most constant, lived experience.” However, although global nomads often feel rootless and may not feel like they belong to any particular place due their international mobility, the flipside and benefit of this is that they are also part of a very interesting ‘small world’ phenomenon, and have a tendency to frequently meet people from many different times of life in other places, or have connections with people from a wide variety of places. This is similar to the ‘six degrees of separation’ theory‘ (the idea that every person is “six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world.”)
“This world is very, very small,” commented Greg, a global nomad who was an international school teacher in India, as he described meeting his international school classmates frequently as he moved to different countries. I know of at least three different people who know Greg, from various places and time periods. In the first instance, I got an e-mail from an international student advisor at a college in Montana, who wanted to see the global nomads video that I produced at Cornell in 2001 (Global Nomads: Cultural Bridges for the New Millennium). I sent it to her and she said that when she saw it, she recognized Greg: she had met Greg and his brother when they all sang in middle school honor choirs in the Hague many years ago!
In the second case, I did a presentation at an Overseas Association for College Admission Counseling (OACAC) conference at Cornell University with one of the overseas counselors. We were having AV problems and tech support was helping us before our presentation. The video happened to go on while I was briefly out of the room, and when I came back, the counselor – Charlie Franck – said that the first person he saw when the video went on was Greg – who had been his student advisee at Cairo American College!
The third example occurred after I tracked down Greg to participate in an Internet follow up survey of my global nomad video participants. After filling out the survey, he asked if he could get a copy of the video. When I asked him for his mailing address (expecting to hear an address in India), he instead gave me an address in the US, and when I asked why, he said that his mother lived in the US and that I could mail it to her. To my great surprise, the town that she now lived in (after living in Egypt, Russia and Belgium) was literally 10 minutes from where I live! When I told Greg, he said that he was actually coming to visit his mother in a couple of months. “We should have coffee!” he said. Because of this happy coincidence, I was very glad to have the opportunity to actually meet Greg, who participated in my 2001 global nomads video (but was part of a panel filmed by my colleague Karen Edwards at a college in another state).
My own small world experiences happened so frequently while I was living in Stockholm, Sweden, that I stopped being as surprised by them. In an earlier post, I described participating in the informal dinners organized by SAS Intercultural Communication for families who were going to be living abroad, with SAS representatives who had lived in the countries that families were traveling to – in this case, the US. At one of these dinners, the SAS representatives included a Swedish couple who had lived in the US. Or so I thought. As the evening progressed, I learned that the woman – who spoke flawless Swedish – was actually American! She asked where I had gone to college and when I said Cornell, she commented that her sister had also gone to Cornell, and that even though it was unlikely (it’s a big school), she wanted to ask if I knew her, just in case. Her sister’s name was Pat, and as luck would have it, not only did I know her, it also turned out that she was my brother’s good friend from Cornell.
Another example of this type of ‘small world’ phenomena occurred when I was literally walking down the street in Stockholm. I had taken the tunnelbana (subway) to my job at Wenner Gren Center, where I taught English to a group of visiting researchers (mostly doctors and scientists) from Italy, France, Japan, and other countries. As I walked from the subway stop towards Wenner Gren Center, I heard voices speaking English. Two people were walking in front of me who sounded American. I caught up with them and we started talking. One of them asked me where I was from and when I told her the name of the small upstate New York town, she commented that she had had a college friend in Maine who was from the same town. We thought it was worth asking who it was, just in case. She said his name was Gil. Once again, it turned out that I did indeed know him, plus he was also one of my brother’s good friends from high school. “I just saw Gil over Christmas Break,” she commented. “So did I,” I added. We looked at each other in surprise. I might add that both my brother and Gil had lived in Sweden several years earlier.
Still another small world experience happened at the American Women’s Club in Stockholm, where I met a woman from Connecticut named Kristen. As it turned out, she was a high school classmate of one of my good friends, Tracey, from Cornell. Kristen and I became good friends in Stockholm, and I just saw her again recently in California.
These kinds of coincidences just seemed to keep happening to me when I lived or traveled abroad, particularly in Sweden, and also frequently happened to Greg. Jean Shinoda Bolen, in her book The Tao of Psychology, describes these types of funny, unexpected coincidences with the Jungian concept of ‘synchronicity.’ And so it seems that for global nomads, TCKs, and international families, it’s a small world after all!
Have you also experienced these types of coincidences?